My Miracle

I title this blog post as "My miracle" because what I am about to write is the most precious, God given miracle a human being can receive...... My sweet son, Lucas Ryan Mallaire. Here is our story, the story that God created before I even knew it was coming....

Being pregnant for close to 10 months is tough. I am not going to lie, I had my days where being pregnant was a challenge. I was extremely sick for the first 5 months. Having a full time job and trying not to throw up was hard! But as hard as some days were I LOVED being pregnant! I loved watching as my stomach grew bigger day after day. The sweet movements I would feel from him was one of the best feelings I ever experienced. I felt like my body was doing what it was created to do...growing a baby. Every day I was experiencing Gods miracle inside of me.

As my due date was approaching, I was beginning to become anxious. I was so excited to meet my little man, but I honestly was a little scared of what was about to come. Not scared in a bad way, but scared as in, "Can I do this?" I was about to bring a human being in this world, and I want to be the best mom to this boy as I could possibly be. My very purpose in life is to be the best wife, and mom I can be. I was hoping this was possible.

On Wednesday, March 16th I had my regular scheduled doctors appointment. There had been talk about how big Luke was going to be from day one. I always measured bigger and my ultrasounds determined he was a big boy. What were we expecting?..... my husband was 11lbs and some change! Of course we were destined to have a big baby! When the doctor came in and did my exam, it was very routine. I was dilated 1cm and that was it. Nothing to be too excited about since it can take a while to dilate. We talked of where we were going to deliver when the time came we scheduled our next appointment, not expecting what was coming that night...

After the appointment, Nick and I went and had breakfast. We ran a few errands and spent a good 2 hours in Babies R Us ( that was becoming a ritual for us those days). When we got home I made dinner. At this point in the night I was starting to feel a little "crampy" nothing extremely bad, but a little uncomfortable. I remember telling Nick that I was starting to feel a little different, but it was hard to explain how. As the night went on I started to become even more uncomfortable.

WARNING: Now is where I start talking about yucky stuff, so if you don't want to read about it, then stop! :)

At about 8:00 ish, I went to the restroom and noticed that I had lost my mucus plug...fyi, that is the worst word ever...I hate the word mucus...yuck! and I was also bleeding. The only position that was some-what comfortable was on our computer chair at our desk in our bedroom. Every time I tried to lay down my "cramps" got worse. I tried to get some things done around the house, and concentrate on what my body was telling me. About an hour later my "cramps

were getting worse and I finally admitted to myself and Nick that I thought I was having contractions. Now since I had lost my mucus plug, was bleeding and was having what I

"thought" was contractions, I decided to call the on-call nurse at my doctors office to ask them their opinion on how long I should wait to go to the hospital ( since we were having him in Scottsdale and we live in Avondale). The doctor that I talked to said that I was probably only bleeding from my exam that day and that I should not go to the hospital until my contractions are 5 minutes apart and I am in ALOT of pain. So we waited. I sat at the computer trying to get through my contractions. I downloaded a nifty little app on my iphone that times contractions, so I started using that every time a contraction came.

When I started my contractions were about every 8-9 minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds. As the night went on my contractions started coming every 4-5 minutes. At this point I was extremely uncomfortable and told Nick that I think it was time to go to the hospital. My water had not broken yet, but I knew that what I was feeling was very different than my every day pregnancy symptoms. We got all our stuff and headed out of the house on our way to the hospital! The drive is about 45 minutes, so needless to say it was quit an uncomfortable ride. All I could do was breathe and grab on to the seat handles every time I had a contraction. I like to think that I was handling them pretty well, but who knows!

We got to the hospital around 10:30pm. As we were riding the elevator up to the 2nd floor, all of a sudden I could feel liquid leaking out of me! I started laughing and told Nick, " I either just peed myself or my water just broke." When we got to the check-in, they had my registration already and sent me straight into the triage room. I got into the room, changed into the spiffy gown and tried to breathe through my contractions. The triage nurse was soo nice! She put those pink and blue monitors on my belly right away and we could hear our sweet boys heartbeat. The nurse checked me again and I was still only dilated to a 1. WHAT!! I was a little disappointed because I was terrified that they were going to send me home and I was not sure how I was going to handle the pain if they sent me home.

The nurse then asked me if my water had broken yet. I told her that I thought it broke in the elevator but wasn't sure since it wasn't a whole lot of liquid. She decided to test me to see if it had broken. When she was done checking all of a sudden a rush of liquid came out and I was sure that she had finished breaking my water for me. I told her that I think my water just completely broke, she checked me and said, "Well you are right, it did. Guess what you are staying with us now!" I was relieved since I knew they were not going to send me home! At this point I had decided that I wanted an epidural! I wimped out pretty quickly, but I was so uncomfortable, and needed some relief!

Now I was in my delivery room, getting all settled in. The doctor that was going to do my epidural was in my room already setting up all his stuff! Talk about getting things done quickly! He gave me my epidural and I was all set! The nurse that I had at the time told me that this is the time that I should try to sleep. So sleep is what I tried! Unfortunately the epidural decided not to work on my left side. I was still feeling every contraction on the left side of my body. Not fun! They had me turn to my left and lay on that side for a while to try and get the medicine to move to that side. It was not working! A couple hours went by and I was still feeling everything. She decided to check to see if I had dilated any more and when she checked me she said, "No wonder you were feeling those contractions so bad, you are at an 8." The nurse decided to up the medicine in my epidural. It still didn't fix it. So she upped it one more time and a few hours later it finally worked! I was relieved!

By now it was Thursday, March 17th- St. Patricks day! I was excited to think that we were going to have our sweet Luke on such a lucky day. With him being Irish and all, it was a perfect day to bring him into this world! At about 6am my nurse came in and decided that I needed to switch from side to side to try and get Luke to turn. He was head down but he was turned the wrong way. I did that every 30 minutes for the next couple of hours.

At around 8:00am the nurse came in checked me, I was dilated to a 10 and asked if I felt like I was ready to push. I couldn't feel anything, only pressure. From this point on I started pushing with every contraction. The pressure was increasing with every contraction and was becoming really uncomfortable. In my mind I knew that labor can last a long time. I knew that if could be hours from now until he came, or he could come any minute. With each push, I pushed as hard as I could. I wanted him out, and I put every ounce of my strength into each push. I didn't want to be pushing for hours!

After about 5 or so pushes the nurse told me to stop pushing! WHAT stop pushing? For all you moms out there, once you are pushing, it is really, really hard to just stop pushing! The doctor was not there yet and they needed me to stop until she got there! ahhh! The pressure was so intense that I was about to go crazy! Fast forward about 20 minutes, the doctor got there, I pushed a few times and he was out!!!

Lucas Ryan Mallaire was born at 9:58am on March 17, 2011! He was 9lbs 8 ounces! It was the best moment of our lives! He cried right away and it was such a wonderful noise!

I feel blessed beyond belief how smooth my labor went! Luke has become such a part of our family already and we can't imagine life without him!

I will be updating more often about our sweet boy....I hope you join us! Life is good, and I am excited for what life is all about being a mama!

~Breanna

2 years, true love

I have been thinking about writing this post, honestly for the past month. What can I say to my sweet husband on our 2nd wedding anniversary? That it has been wonderful? Awesome? Hard? Romantic? Challenging? All of the above? Yes, our marriage has been wonderful! We have done some awesome things! We have a hard time not seeing each other as much as we would like, money is tight (which stresses me out, and in turn makes things harder). Romantic? Yes, a few specific nights have brought us to where we are today(within weeks of meeting our first child) sorry if that was TMI.... :) (Dad if you are reading this, sorry).

There are a million things I could say about my husband and about our marriage, but I thought I would take a different approach to my anniversary post. I want Luke to know his dad. Truly know him for the man that I fell in love with 7 years ago, and have had the privilege to be married to for the past 2 years. I am not sitting here bragging about my husband and trying to make him sound like a perfect man. But I am proud of who he is and what he has become the last 7 years, and Luke, our first boy deserves to know how his mom feels about his dad. It is important. I knew from a very young age how much my mom and dad adored each other. I think, actually, I know that my parents marriage was a huge testimony to me and my siblings about what a true marriage can be about. I only hope to instill the same testimony for my children. I have no idea what parenthood is all about yet, but I am weeks away from knowing, and I am looking forward to raising the best human beings I can :)

2/28/2011- Your Mom and Dads 2 year wedding anniversary

Luke,

My sweet boy. You are not even here yet, and I am so in love with you. I have spent the last almost 10 months closer to you than I ever will again. You are a part of me, and I have enjoyed every minute of it! In July of 2010 I found out I was pregnant with you. I was shocked and surprised and overjoyed! The morning I took my pregnancy test, I was alone. When your dad got home, I told him to go into the bathroom and look at the counter. Lying there was the test, and it of course showed a positive test. He looked at me and just smiled. He gave me his half smile that still melts my heart. At that moment we became parents. Life changed. We loved you from the second we saw that test. The past almost 10 months have been a whirl wind of emotions. We talk about you every second of the day. What are you going to look like? Are you going to have my brown eyes? Or your dads beautiful blue eyes? His blond hair, or my (naturally) brown hair? I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about looking at you for the first time, holding you, smelling you, snuggling you! I can hardly stand it!

I think about the sweet baby you are going to be, the boy you will grow to be, and the man that you will become. I am overwhelmed with the thought of you being anything like your dad. If you are anything like him, I will be so proud! He is genuine, loving, loyal and hard working! He would do anything for us, and you should always know that! Your dad loves me, and I know that. Not in a conceded way, but in a true, loving, respectful way. He has passions and you will know them. He is true to who he is, and I am so hopeful that you will be your own person as well. Be a leader, and make good decisions. I pray that you have great friends and a love for God. I pray so much for you my sweet boy, and I can only hope that I can be the mom to you that you deserve. One thing I know for sure is that your daddy and I will ALWAYS love you. Thank you for making me a mom and allowing me and your dads heart to change because of YOU!

Life is about to change, and we are so ready! I can tell you right now that we won't be perfect parents, nowhere near, but we will do our best to allow you to know what unconditional love feels like. Thank you again, sweet Luke for giving me the opportunity to become a mom. I look forward to the days ahead, becoming a family of 3!

I love you,

Mom

P.S. My sweet husband. Thank you for the past 2 years. I don't have the words to describe how thankful I am for you. Thank you for loving me and Luke. We are truly lucky. Here's to 65 more years!

Showering Luke with Love

This weekend Nick and I had a family Guy/Gal baby shower and it was amazing! My best friend and sister-in-law Angie ( if you don't know our story, we have been friends since we were 6 years old, and we grew up and married brothers, and now we are both pregnant, only 4 weeks apart. That is my really quick version of our life story) and brother-in-law had a joint shower. Our mother-in-law through it for us, and it was AMAZING! I will share some pictures soon!

I have lesson plans to still write tonight and finish my valentines cards for my kiddos. Oh the life of a teacher, I am too nice to them(well, most of the time).

I only have 4 weeks left of work before Maternity leave! Thank goodness, I am so tired and NEED to do so many things around this house to prepare for Luke! I can get through 4 weeks right? Yes, of course I can!

Have a wonderful Sunday evening, and I will share pictures of the wonderful showers I have had!

Goodnight,

Breanna

31 Weeks Pregnant!

(the only picture we got yesterday. My husband feels the need to do thumbs up in all pictures lately)

I am 31 weeks pregnant!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 31 Weeks

Size of baby: Luke is the size of a head of lettuce (19 in, 3.9 lbs)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I am not sure. All I know is my doctor said I have been good and consistant on my weight gain. I don't want to know the number!

Maternity Clothes: yes, all of my clothes are maternity, besides some shirts and cardigans

Gender: A Boy, Luke Mallaire!

Movement: Yes, I feel him all of the time :)

Sleep: I don't sleep that well. I toss and turn a lot! All I can say is thank goodness for my body pillow!

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, and Wine!

Cravings: Mexican food, Japanese food...actually anything really!

Symptoms: I feel full all of the time and have a hard time eating. My back is getting achy, and my feet hurt at the end of the day! Oh the joys of pregnancy :)

This week I turned 31 weeks preggo! I have finally began to feel HUGE! I don't feel quit as big, until I look at a picture of me and realize how big my belly really is (and maybe my double chin)! oh dear, and I have up to 9 weeks to go! As big and as uncomfortable I am feeling, I am really enjoying this time. I LOVE feeling Luke move. He moves around a lot and now they are becoming a little bit painful. Yesterday I felt like he ran his entire elbow across my entire stomach. It now seems like more distinct movements and I can almost guess which body part he is sticking out! I am sure I have no idea, but I like to think I know!

We had our 31 week doctors appointment this past Wednesday. It went really well. I am still measuring a little ahead, but our last ultrasound looked great and we just might have a big, healthy baby on our hands :) I can't wait to meet our sweet boy! I love thinking about what he will look like and how he will act. Will he have Nick's beautiful blue eyes, or my brown eyes? Will he have light hair or dark hair? (we know he has hair, we have been told many times in our ultrasounds) I am just so anxious to see him!

I have about 7 weeks left of work! I will be done March 11th! As much as I may miss my kiddos, I am anxious to have time off to get some last minute things done for Luke, and some time to myself, before my life changes forever (in the best way)! I will have 11 weeks off, and then will go back for the last two weeks of school! My sweet Sister is going to watch Luke for us for those two weeks, which I am SO grateful for!

Thats about all I have to update on! Nick started school last week and seems to already like his classes! He loves those science classes, that I could never imagine taking! He is so smart and loves all that stuff! That is why I could never be a doctor :) I'll leave that one up to him! He has this semester left and then an internship and then he will be ready for med school! I am so proud of him and everything he does. He not only goes to school, he works full time, and takes such good care of me! He does it all without complaints!

Happy Sunday everyone! Have a great week!

2011=TRUST

As I sit here thinking about the last year I can't help but think about how it started out. On January 1, 2010 Nick and I lost our first baby. I was 8 weeks pregnant and I had a miscarriage. It was one of the worst days of our lives. The moment you find out you are pregnant you instantly become parents. I watched as my husband became a dad and the love he already had for our unborn child. Unfortunetly something was wrong and God had a bigger plan for that sweet baby and for us. We now have our angle baby in heaven and we are at peace with it. Well how do you go on after that? Well you just do. The following days and weeks were kind of a blur. I was sad, mad, hurt, lonely (for my baby) and so many other emotions. I had such great support from family and friends, but it didn't make the ache in my heart go away. Eventually the pain goes away, but you never forget...and I will never forget.

I refused to let 2010 become a bad memory. So it went on, and I lived life. I had a lot of great things happen in 2010. I graduated college, went on amazing vacations with friends, and got a teaching job. What started off as an emotional, life changing year, began to change and become one of the best years of our lives. In July 2010, we found out we were pregnant again! What a blessing! As of now I am 7 months pregnant and we can't wait to meet our sweet boy. March can't come fast enough for us! It just proves that a year that starts off with heartache can end with so much hope and excitement!

So what will 2011 hold....I have no idea, but I do know that I am looking forward to it. I look forward to becoming a mom. Something I have longed to be for a very long time! As I have heard on KLOVE and on a few different blogs I have read, I am picking a word this year that will help guide my year....that word is TRUST....I have a lot of new, exciting, scary and emotional times ahead of me, and I know that I need to TRUST that God will guide me in the right directions and comfort me in the times when I need him the most. (was that a run-on sentence?) I have always had a hard time with worrying and being in control, and hopefully as 2011 begins I will learn to let go and TRUST.

The last day of 2010 has been a nice low key day for me so far. I am reflecting and thanking God for the many blessings he has given us. I can't wait to welcome 2011 and begin the next chapter in our lives....life is beautiful, it sometimes takes the worst of days to appreciate the best of days!

So Goodbye 2010....Welcome 2011...I have so much hope for you!!

Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Bag and bedding

Now that Mr. Luke is on his way and will be here before we know it, I have been thinking about what kind of diaper bag I want....I mean.....We want!

When I was about 8 weeks pregnant I went to my favorite consignment store and found an adorable brand new Coach diaper bag. It is really cute, but the minute I showed it to Nick he said, "Wow, I am going to look awesome carrying that around." (in a total sarcastic way). Ever since then I have been searching for a diaper bag that we both like. Well I found it, and I LOVE it! It was a little spendy, but I found it on the Pottery Barn kids website, and what do you know, we had giftcards from our wedding that we never used from Pottery Barn and it was just enough to cover the diaper bag! Yay! I am so excited to get it! It is still a little girly, but Nick still liked it too! It will be here Dec. 9th and I can't wait to see it! The bedding we got Luke is from Pottery Barn Kids as well! Thank goodness for gift cards and trendy consignment stores! If I could buy everything from Pottery Barn Kids I would!

Now I guess it would be important to start getting the main things we need for Luke! It's crazy how expensive baby furniture is! Thank Goodness he is worth every penny! All we really need is a crib, dresser and changing table and we are all set! I got his Co-sleeper for our room and a glider! I just can't wait to put it all together!

The sweet boy already has a good collection of clothes...what can I say, I love to shop and especially when it comes to baby clothes I...just...can't...help...it! We will be in major trouble when we have a girl! Good thing this Mama is all about baby consignment stores! They have the cutest stuff and it is very reasonably priced! Babies grow so fast, there is no need to spend too much money on the things they will grow out of in two seconds!

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you had a great weekend!

~Breanna

(The one I got is the bottom left, black and blue bag, but they are all sooo cute)

(Luke's bedding, It has light green, navy blue, light blue, beige and brown in it! and no that is not zebra stripes, it just looks like it!)

24 weeks preggo and random thoughts!

( Luke was being shy, so here is a nice picture of his spine :)

(Luke at 21 weeks. Look closely, it is of his profile)

I am officially 24 weeks pregnant this week! Time is flying by! I really LOVE being pregnant! I don't however, love all the symptoms I have had. Beginning with morning sickness that lasted most of my first and half of my second trimester. Fatigue that I feel still has not gotten much better! I honestly don't feel like I got that 2nd trimester burst of energy! And now I am experiencing the dizziness and muscle aches! ohh goodness! But you know what? Like I said before I LOVE being pregnant and I LOVE carrying this sweet boy of ours. Any aches and pains is worth it, I would do anything for my boy, and as his mom I feel so honored.

We had our 24 week appointment on Wednesday(12/1/10). Everything looks great! We do need to have another ultrasound done at our 28 week appointment because he is measuring about 7-9 days ahead and they just want to check him again! I am all for another ultrasound to see him! And maybe that means he will be joining us a week earlier :)

I have been feeling Luke move like crazy. In the beginning he would move mostly during the day while I was teaching, but lately he has been moving during the day, but mostly at night! If I lay down or even sit down I usually can feel him a movin' :) I love it!

Well today is Friday and I took the day off. I have not been feeling the best this week, so I listened to my body and took a personal day. It feels good just to lay in bed, watch T.V. and rest this preggo body!

All day long I just think of the moment when we meet Luke. I know moms always say it is the best moment of their lives when they get to see and hold their babies for the first time. I just can't wait! I am still in denial that I will have a son and that he will be mine! I have seen him on the ultrasounds and I can feel him inside of me, but I still have to pinch myself and remind myself that this is real life and in less than 4 months he will be here with us! ohh goodness :)

I came across a picture the other day and it was a picture of a mom holding and hugging her child. For some reason my mind automatically went to the thought of my mom holding and hugging me. I just have to say, my mom was an amazing mother. The BEST if you ask me! One thing I will never, ever forget about her is the love she had for her kids. My brother, sister and I were so lucky to have her. She was loving, protecting, understanding, comforting and best of all a true friend. She never made you feel that you could not talk to her, she understood. She knew her kids inside and out, and most of the time she knew how we were feeling even when we did not. One of the most important things I learned from my mom is how to love. How to truly, unconditionally love. I love my son already. Unconditionally. And I feel that the mother I am going to be is because of my mom. I learned so much from her and I don't think she even knew the impact she was going to leave on my family. Luke will be joining a family of true love. He is a blessing to all of us already, and I CAN'T wait to be the mom I have always wanted to be, and knew I could be, because of the one women that has changed my life forever! My mom would have been the best grandma, but it is such a blessing and comfort knowing that she has already met Luke, she knows him, and is blessing him with her love from Heaven! I love that she loves him...Unconditionally from the most perfect place any human can be!

Luke, you have so many people that love you already, and I can't wait to see your precious face!

Happy Friday everyone, hope you have a wonderful weekend! Here is a little pregnancy highlight for ya!

I am 24 weeks pregnant!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: Luke is the size of an Eggplant

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I only gained 1 lb from this weeks appointment from the last one, but honestly I avoid looking at the scale! I think its been about 10 lbs total

Maternity Clothes: yes, all of my clothes are maternity, besides some shirts and cardigans

Gender: A Boy, Luke Mallaire!

Movement: Yes, within the last couple weeks I have been feeling him a lot more!

Sleep: I don't sleep that well. I toss and turn a lot! All I can say is thank goodness for my body pillow!

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, and Wine!

Cravings: Mexican food, Japanese food...actually anything really!

Symptoms: A little dizziness and a few headaches, but oh so worth it!