Hard times....its a long one

I have to talk a little about what happend the last 2 years of my life. Many people know the hardships that me and my family have gone through, but I would like to talk more about it. On September 26th 2006, my best friend in the entire world, my momma, passed away. It was THE hardest day of my entire life, and forever will be. She died from Multiple Myeloma (a blood cancer) and to this day, still find myself not believing that she is gone, but knowing that my life is in Gods hands and that all of that happend for some reason. From that day on, and I still have days where I feel so empty, but having the amazing family that I do have, I always know tomorrow will be a better day. I miss her more than anything, and will forever live my life in honor of her, and do all I can to make her proud. So all of that happenend in September of 2006, and that October I found out that Nick would be leaving for Afghanistan in January. I thought my entire world was crashing down on me, I had just lost my mom, and now Nick who is my biggest supporter and comforter would be leaving me soon for 15 months. The next couple months went by way too fast. In November Nick took me on a trip to Oregon (where I used to live). We went to the Oregon Coast and stayed at the beach house my family and I always stayed at when we went there. We had an amazing time, just spending quality time together that we knew we woudnt have for a long time once he left. We took walks on the beach, ate at great restuarants, slept in, cooked, and just had a great time. He had told me the night before we left, that he had been debating on asking me to marry him while we were there, but didnt want me to be dissapointed at the end of our trip when he didnt(I had thought he was maybe going to), he explained to me that he didnt want to ask me just becuase he was leaving, and wanted to be there for all the excitement after the proposal. He was soo right. I loved him more after he told me that, becuase he cares so much. He wants to be a part of everything with me. How could I argue with that? Hes amazing! anyways..... My best friend got married that December and Nick and I were the maid of honor and best man...what an honor, but knowing that in 2 weeks Nick would be leaving, it was such a bitter sweet time of my life. We had an amazing new years together and just cherished every moment we had together.
Then January 6th 2007 came. Nick had to leave really early that morning, and I felt like I was in a movie. We all stood in the parking lot of the stadium for what seemed like forever, and then had to say goodbye and go into the stadium for a ceremony. The whole time I was crying. I could see Nick from a far but thought I was not going to see him again before he left. Well once the ceremony was over, all the soldiers had to get onto the buses. There was bus after bus lined up in the parking lot, and people were all over the place. If you were able to find your soldier you could say goodbye again, and I was frantic running around trying to find Nick, well I never did until he had gotten on the bus. I finally found the bus he was on. I talked to him on the phone while he was sitting there and I was standing outside the bus. I felt so helpless...I just wanted one more hug, but I guess after that I would have wanted another one. The buses finally pulled away and my life was shattered. I was SO proud of him, but selfishly soo sad he was leaving. 15 months away from the man that I had been with for 3 years sounded like torture.I worried about him everyday. Well to make a long story short. He was in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, and was doing great things while he was there. He made friends with the little kids there, bonded with the other guys he was with, and at one point won a medal for making a great decision in a scary situation. He had 3 scary situations while he was there, one was having an IED (exlposive device) thrown at their convoy, the other once was him having to shoot at a car that was coming at them and the last one was getting malaria. It was Thanksgiving day and I had gotten a message from Nick saying he wasnt feeling too good, and had been throwing up for a week or two, but was just resting and drinking pedilyte for his thanksgiving meal. I was so sad thinking he was by himself ,sick on thanksgiving day. I had gone over to Nicks house that morning to give his little brother a birthday gift and was talking to his mom, and I told her that in my heart I had a feeling that he had malaria, but didnt want to make it a big deal if not. So a couple days after that go by and I didnt hear from him, ( side note, we talked everyday while he was gone, so not talking to him freaked me out) almost 5 days went by and I had not talked to him, and at this point I was a mess, I had no idea if he was okay, of he had gotten hurt, or worse was dead. So many things were runnig through my head. I think I went through almost 2 calling cards in those 5 days just trying to get ahold of him. Finally on day 5 of not talking to him, a guy answered the phone and told me that Nick was sick and was with the doctors right then so he couldnt talk, I asket the guy if he was okay, and he said yes, he was just having flu like symptoms and would call me later, well a few more days go by and I still dont hear from him, I at least knew he was a live, but had no idea how sick he was. Well finally Nicks mom got a email and some phone calls from a seargant telling us that Nick had been airlifted to another hospital in Afghanistan, he was on oxygen, had a 105 degree temperature, had trouble breathing, and was so out of it. Now the next day, I finally get a phone call from a guy that had just visited Nick in the hospital and told me that he was doing good, he was walking around and laughing, so that was good, but I had still not heard his voice for myself. Finally about 2 hours later my phone rings and it was Nick, he sounded good, but weak. I was so relieved and scared at the same time. He said all the right things to make me feel better, and was getting really good care where he was, so I felt better about everything. Anyways to make a long story short he got sent to Germany after that because they did not have the proper medicine for Malaria in afghanistan. He was in Germany for a week, and then they sent him home to Arizona for bed rest. It was a blessing in diguise. He had gotten so sick, but got to come home for Christmas, my one gift I wanted more than anything, but never imagined getting it! So he is home now, its been wonderful having him back home, safe and healthy. I feel so privaleged to be a part of his life and to say that I have a true life hero. He did great things while he was there and now he is home to do even more wonderful things. We will be getting married sooner than later now that he is home, so stay tuned.....you never know when it could happen...:)