2011=TRUST

As I sit here thinking about the last year I can't help but think about how it started out. On January 1, 2010 Nick and I lost our first baby. I was 8 weeks pregnant and I had a miscarriage. It was one of the worst days of our lives. The moment you find out you are pregnant you instantly become parents. I watched as my husband became a dad and the love he already had for our unborn child. Unfortunetly something was wrong and God had a bigger plan for that sweet baby and for us. We now have our angle baby in heaven and we are at peace with it. Well how do you go on after that? Well you just do. The following days and weeks were kind of a blur. I was sad, mad, hurt, lonely (for my baby) and so many other emotions. I had such great support from family and friends, but it didn't make the ache in my heart go away. Eventually the pain goes away, but you never forget...and I will never forget.

I refused to let 2010 become a bad memory. So it went on, and I lived life. I had a lot of great things happen in 2010. I graduated college, went on amazing vacations with friends, and got a teaching job. What started off as an emotional, life changing year, began to change and become one of the best years of our lives. In July 2010, we found out we were pregnant again! What a blessing! As of now I am 7 months pregnant and we can't wait to meet our sweet boy. March can't come fast enough for us! It just proves that a year that starts off with heartache can end with so much hope and excitement!

So what will 2011 hold....I have no idea, but I do know that I am looking forward to it. I look forward to becoming a mom. Something I have longed to be for a very long time! As I have heard on KLOVE and on a few different blogs I have read, I am picking a word this year that will help guide my year....that word is TRUST....I have a lot of new, exciting, scary and emotional times ahead of me, and I know that I need to TRUST that God will guide me in the right directions and comfort me in the times when I need him the most. (was that a run-on sentence?) I have always had a hard time with worrying and being in control, and hopefully as 2011 begins I will learn to let go and TRUST.

The last day of 2010 has been a nice low key day for me so far. I am reflecting and thanking God for the many blessings he has given us. I can't wait to welcome 2011 and begin the next chapter in our lives....life is beautiful, it sometimes takes the worst of days to appreciate the best of days!

So Goodbye 2010....Welcome 2011...I have so much hope for you!!

Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Bag and bedding

Now that Mr. Luke is on his way and will be here before we know it, I have been thinking about what kind of diaper bag I want....I mean.....We want!

When I was about 8 weeks pregnant I went to my favorite consignment store and found an adorable brand new Coach diaper bag. It is really cute, but the minute I showed it to Nick he said, "Wow, I am going to look awesome carrying that around." (in a total sarcastic way). Ever since then I have been searching for a diaper bag that we both like. Well I found it, and I LOVE it! It was a little spendy, but I found it on the Pottery Barn kids website, and what do you know, we had giftcards from our wedding that we never used from Pottery Barn and it was just enough to cover the diaper bag! Yay! I am so excited to get it! It is still a little girly, but Nick still liked it too! It will be here Dec. 9th and I can't wait to see it! The bedding we got Luke is from Pottery Barn Kids as well! Thank goodness for gift cards and trendy consignment stores! If I could buy everything from Pottery Barn Kids I would!

Now I guess it would be important to start getting the main things we need for Luke! It's crazy how expensive baby furniture is! Thank Goodness he is worth every penny! All we really need is a crib, dresser and changing table and we are all set! I got his Co-sleeper for our room and a glider! I just can't wait to put it all together!

The sweet boy already has a good collection of clothes...what can I say, I love to shop and especially when it comes to baby clothes I...just...can't...help...it! We will be in major trouble when we have a girl! Good thing this Mama is all about baby consignment stores! They have the cutest stuff and it is very reasonably priced! Babies grow so fast, there is no need to spend too much money on the things they will grow out of in two seconds!

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you had a great weekend!

~Breanna

(The one I got is the bottom left, black and blue bag, but they are all sooo cute)

(Luke's bedding, It has light green, navy blue, light blue, beige and brown in it! and no that is not zebra stripes, it just looks like it!)

24 weeks preggo and random thoughts!

( Luke was being shy, so here is a nice picture of his spine :)

(Luke at 21 weeks. Look closely, it is of his profile)

I am officially 24 weeks pregnant this week! Time is flying by! I really LOVE being pregnant! I don't however, love all the symptoms I have had. Beginning with morning sickness that lasted most of my first and half of my second trimester. Fatigue that I feel still has not gotten much better! I honestly don't feel like I got that 2nd trimester burst of energy! And now I am experiencing the dizziness and muscle aches! ohh goodness! But you know what? Like I said before I LOVE being pregnant and I LOVE carrying this sweet boy of ours. Any aches and pains is worth it, I would do anything for my boy, and as his mom I feel so honored.

We had our 24 week appointment on Wednesday(12/1/10). Everything looks great! We do need to have another ultrasound done at our 28 week appointment because he is measuring about 7-9 days ahead and they just want to check him again! I am all for another ultrasound to see him! And maybe that means he will be joining us a week earlier :)

I have been feeling Luke move like crazy. In the beginning he would move mostly during the day while I was teaching, but lately he has been moving during the day, but mostly at night! If I lay down or even sit down I usually can feel him a movin' :) I love it!

Well today is Friday and I took the day off. I have not been feeling the best this week, so I listened to my body and took a personal day. It feels good just to lay in bed, watch T.V. and rest this preggo body!

All day long I just think of the moment when we meet Luke. I know moms always say it is the best moment of their lives when they get to see and hold their babies for the first time. I just can't wait! I am still in denial that I will have a son and that he will be mine! I have seen him on the ultrasounds and I can feel him inside of me, but I still have to pinch myself and remind myself that this is real life and in less than 4 months he will be here with us! ohh goodness :)

I came across a picture the other day and it was a picture of a mom holding and hugging her child. For some reason my mind automatically went to the thought of my mom holding and hugging me. I just have to say, my mom was an amazing mother. The BEST if you ask me! One thing I will never, ever forget about her is the love she had for her kids. My brother, sister and I were so lucky to have her. She was loving, protecting, understanding, comforting and best of all a true friend. She never made you feel that you could not talk to her, she understood. She knew her kids inside and out, and most of the time she knew how we were feeling even when we did not. One of the most important things I learned from my mom is how to love. How to truly, unconditionally love. I love my son already. Unconditionally. And I feel that the mother I am going to be is because of my mom. I learned so much from her and I don't think she even knew the impact she was going to leave on my family. Luke will be joining a family of true love. He is a blessing to all of us already, and I CAN'T wait to be the mom I have always wanted to be, and knew I could be, because of the one women that has changed my life forever! My mom would have been the best grandma, but it is such a blessing and comfort knowing that she has already met Luke, she knows him, and is blessing him with her love from Heaven! I love that she loves him...Unconditionally from the most perfect place any human can be!

Luke, you have so many people that love you already, and I can't wait to see your precious face!

Happy Friday everyone, hope you have a wonderful weekend! Here is a little pregnancy highlight for ya!

I am 24 weeks pregnant!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 24 Weeks

Size of baby: Luke is the size of an Eggplant

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I only gained 1 lb from this weeks appointment from the last one, but honestly I avoid looking at the scale! I think its been about 10 lbs total

Maternity Clothes: yes, all of my clothes are maternity, besides some shirts and cardigans

Gender: A Boy, Luke Mallaire!

Movement: Yes, within the last couple weeks I have been feeling him a lot more!

Sleep: I don't sleep that well. I toss and turn a lot! All I can say is thank goodness for my body pillow!

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, and Wine!

Cravings: Mexican food, Japanese food...actually anything really!

Symptoms: A little dizziness and a few headaches, but oh so worth it!

My moving boy!

I am 22 weeks pregnant and I love the stage of pregnancy I am in! I feel better (besides the occasional nausea and tiredness), My belly is getting bigger (the only time in my life when I have liked that), and I am starting to feel Luke move around a lot!

He must have had a growth spurt this weekend because he has been moving like crazy! Yesterday, (11/20/10) was the first time my hubby was able to feel him move! It was such a memorable moment for the two...I mean three of us! I was laying in bed and started to feel him move around. I yelled at Nick to come in to see if he would be able to feel him. The moment he put his hand on my stomach Luke went crazy! He started moving and jabbing me over and over again! It was to the point where all I could do was giggle, it was almost tickling me, and the most movement I have felt that I started to feel funny (but in a good way, does that make sense?) I was so excited to be feeling so much movement!

Today I have been feeling him off and on! I love the sweet reminder of this precious life growing inside of me! Such a blessing!

Thanksgiving is this Thursday and I have a short work week this week! I am thankful for that! Hope everyone had a great Sunday!

~Breanna

What the hips!

So I had no idea that when you are pregnant that you seriously can feel your hips moving! I have woken up every morning the past few days and my my hips ache! Who knew? I sure didn't! I guess I am in store for a lot more "things" you truly don't know about until it is happening to you!

I am on Fall break from school this week and am LOVING every minute of it! It is going by WAY to fast, but when does time slow down when you want it to? Never! I love that after this break, we have Thanksgiving break, and then Christmas and New Years break, and then before we know it, BAM...March will be here and we will get to meet our sweet Luke! We really can't wait! Nick is so cute and is just dying to have this sweet son of ours with us! He talks to my belly ( oh and if you see him around, don't mention I am telling you this :) and is just so sweet with me, and how he talks about Luke! It just melts me thinking about him being a dad! He is going to be so wonderful at it!

I am attempting to clean the house today, but I like how it is 12:30 p.m. and I am still in my pajamas, haven't brushed my teeth yet ( ew, I know gross) and have laid in bed most of the morning! I knew I could be lazy, but when you have such a demanding job, you forget what lazy feels like!

Well I am off to do, who knows what, but I need to do something productive! I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday!

~Breanna

In Gods Hands

I need to start blogging more, and recording what is happening in this amazing pregnancy of mine! More for myself than anybody else!

I think I have written before about how sick I have been throughout this pregnancy. Literally the day I hit 6 weeks, I was nauseous. From 6 weeks up until about now, I have felt sick everyday, all day long! It was so miserable! I feel a little guilty saying how miserable I was, because I would go through it all over again for this sweet baby growing inside of me! I am not ungrateful whatsoever, I just never realized what Mama's to be can go through! I would say working full time had made it even harder! There were days when if I had any other job other than teaching I would have taken more days off. I had days where I would stand next to my trash can in my classroom and would dry heave until I would either throw up, or would eventually be able to walk away ( don't worry it never happened when I was with my students, thankfully) It took everything inside of me to not throw up in front of my students. It took lots of cracker eating, candy sucking, ginger ale breaks to keep everything down. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! is all I can say!

I would talk to my dad almost every night on the phone. He would ask me how I was feeling and I would usually say "Not so good" he said that he can hear that in my voice, and could tell that I just wasn't myself! and it was true, I wasn't myself. I felt like a zombie in my own body, that would only sleep and eat, and go to work, and then would get up and do it all over again the next day. I was in survival mode. I did whatever I had to, to get through the day and once I was home I was done! In my (Bre Cave) as Nick calls it, our bed was the only place where I could get some relief. Not because I necessary felt better, but because I would go to sleep at 7:30 every night just so I didn't have to feel nauseous! Anyways, now that I am almost 17 weeks I think I am finally feeling better (fingers crossed)!

Well, if I didn't have the typical every symptom in the book pregnancy, as is, last Wednesday I had my normal 16 week appointment. My appointment was at 4:15 that day, but around 2:15 I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom really bad ( nothing out of the ordinary for me these days) but when I went the bathroom ( without getting in to much detail) I had some bleeding. I of course freaked out, because they always tell you that any blood during a pregnancy is not normal, so initially I think something horrible is going wrong. But of course, being a teacher I had to go back to class and pretend that everything was fine until school was over. ( I have realized that teaching while your pregnant is really not very ideal)

Once my students were out my door, I was out the door! I left for my appointment as quick as I could! Trying to walk through a hallway of kids and teachers and put a smile on your face, when you are falling apart inside is not easy. When I was finally to my car I of course call my husband asap. I have to tell you, I wish I was more like my husband. He is so calm, and encouraging in stressful situations. I have been through a lot in my life, and no matter what the situation that was happening to us, he always stays calm. Even if the outcome was life changing in a good way or horrible way, he was there, calm and reminding me that everything, no matter what was going to be okay. And you know what? It has been okay. No matter what. Just like he said.

As I got to my doctors appointment (Nick wasn't there yet), they called me back, and I was shaking horribly. I was nervous, scared and hopeful. As I got into my room, the nurse took my blood pressure and then was ready to put the doppler on my belly. As she put it on, she went over my stomach a few times. I thought I heard the heartbeat a few times but she kept moving it. So I of course got nervous, until she said, " There it is, nice and strong" FEW!! I was so relieved. As she left, my doctor walked in. She immediately asked me how I was doing, like she always does. Well this time I said " Not so good" and she looked at me with worry in her eyes. So I told he what had happened, and to make a long story somewhat short, lol she checked me, and then got me into an ultrasound just to make sure everything was okay.

So that is why I got an ultrasound at my 16 week appointment! Our sweet baby was just fine and everything else looked great! He just wanted to keep us on our toes. I still do not know why I had a little bleeding, but I have had none since, and plan on not having any more! I am just so thankful my sweet Luke is healthy! that is all a Mama can ask for!

So because of all this, I have a question for all you Mama's out there? How do you get through almost 10 months of your pregnancy without worrying every second about your sweet baby inside of you? I have faith in God that he is protecting me and Luke and that he already has both of our lives planned out, and that it is all in his hands, but how on a day to day basis do I tell myself, stop worrying and let God take control? I believe with everything inside of me that God is the Author of my life and is writing this incredible story, but why then is it still so hard? Do I not have enough faith or trust? Am I relying too much on my own comforts and not enough on God? I know I am not the only person that has worried about their child. I know that it has JUST begun, and I have a lifetime of worrying to go through with this sweet boy! I just love him so much already and can't wait to meet him and love him more than I can even imagine!

Worrying is something I have always had issues with. What are some ways you control worrying and how to let the little things go? I am curious to know?

Hope everyone had a great Tuesday!

~Breanna

Sweet Baby Mallaire

Our Sweet BOY!! Yep that's right, we are having a boy!! We couldn't be more excited!!

I have not updated in a few days, (yes I know I said I was going to be better at this blogging thing) but here is my last Pregnancy update!

I am 16 weeks pregnant!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 16 Weeks

Size of baby: Baby boy is the size of an avocado

Total Weight Gain/Loss: not really sure! I avoid looking at the scale!

Maternity Clothes: yes, work pants. Most of my work slacks were getting to tight, but dresses, shirts and skirts are my normal clothes!

Gender: A Boy!!

Movement: I think I have felt him move, but I could be wrong!

Sleep: I don't sleep that well. I toss and turn a lot! All I can say is thank goodness for my body pillow!

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, and Wine!

Cravings: Bean burritos, japanese food, watermelon, Chick-Fil-A (yummy)

Symptoms: Still nauseous every now and then, but this week I have finally felt a little better! Praise God!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

So many changes!

Wow, I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted on my blog! I have finally given it a makeover and it feels a little more like Fall! Speaking of Fall, it is my Favorite time of year! (once Sept. 26th is over with) I love everything about Fall! The decorations, yummy candles, the crisp air, and that Fall smell that flows through the air! Nothing better!

Well since I last posted, a lot has happened. I am now a full time teacher! I teach 4th grade at a charter school in phoenix. It has been quit an experience! When they said your first year will be challenging, they were right! But at the end of the day, I love what I do!

The best and most blessed change in my life lately is the sweet baby growing in my belly! Yep, I am 14 weeks pregnant! I could not be any happier! I can't believe Nick and I are going to be parents. It is all so unreal! Nick has been such an amazing, supportive husband through all of this! Lets just say I have not had the smooth sailing kind of pregnancy! I have had every type of symptom they warn you about! The first six weeks were perfect! I felt great! but literally the day I hit six weeks, I began feeling nauseous, I was extremely tired and was so sore( you know where ladies!). I began getting worse and worse. The sickness lingered all day long! Whoever termed the word "Morning" sickness was obviously a man! because I have been sick all day, everyday! Now that I am in my 14th week, I am starting to feel some relief! I have my good and bad days. I finally gave in and started taking zofran for the nausea. It helps sometimes, but not always! ugh, I am just hoping for full relief soon! I have to say though, I would be just fine being sick for the rest of my pregnancy, I just feel so blessed to be growing this miracle inside of me!

Well that is what is happening here in the Mallaire household! I will post some belly pictures soon! as of now I haven't felt well enough to even think about taking a picture of myself, ha!

I will be back tomorrow to talk about my sweet momma! It's been 4 years since she went to be with Jesus....I can't believe that :(

Have a great Saturday! Is anybody doing anything fun? The hubby and I are off to the Daniel Tosh (from tosh.0 on comedy central) show tonight! Its the 10:30 show....hopefully this pregnant mama can stay awake :)

Here is a little Weekly update about my pregnancy. Quit a few of the blogs I read do these on a weekly basis, so I thought I would try it out! No picture this week, but I promise to have one next week!

I am 14 weeks pregnant!

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 14 Weeks

Size of baby: Baby M is the size of a Navel Orange ( or peach some say)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: gained 2 pounds

Maternity Clothes: yes, work pants. Most of my work slacks were getting to tight, but dresses, shirts and skirts are my normal clothes!

Gender: Don't know yet!

Movement: Not yet! although I swear last week I felt little butterfly flutters on my left side!

Sleep: I don't sleep that well. I toss and turn a lot. I am exhausted though! (and have weird dreams)

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach!

Cravings: Bean burritos, japanese food, watermelon, Chick-Fil-A (yummy)

Symptoms: Still nauseous, but I have an okay day here and there! Very tired, and a little moody :)

Day of Silence for Cohen

http://www.inthiswonderfullife.com/

Memorial Day Tribute

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

John ( 15:13)

I have been sitting at my computer for an hour watching tearful videos on YouTube. I came across this video and had to share it. Grab some tissues, you will need them. I know it is over 10 minutes, but take 10 minutes out of your day to pay tribute and remember our fallen hero's, it's the least we can do.

These videos hit so close to home to me. I thought I was going to be one of those wives (girlfriend at the time) who was going to lose their loved one overseas. I felt my whole life slip away from me in November 2007. I thought Nick was dead. It was the worst feeling I have ever had. Although Nick was extremely sick, he was alive. ALIVE!! Thank God he came home to me, and not a casket.

I was extremely lucky to have my soldier come home, but there are so many people that don't. My heart aches and cry's thinking about the pain and suffering those soldiers and families have gone through. I can't imagine.

Thank you to all the men and women out there sacrificing their lives for our freedom. It doesn't come free, and I hope that we as Americans can support and remember all they have done for us in the past, present, and future! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to our troops, and don't forget their families, there is a lot of sacrifice and bravery that comes along with being a family member of a soldier. It's not easy, but it's worth it!

Happy Memorial Day. My challenge for you today is to thank a soldier or pray for a soldier. Prayer goes a long way, and they will feel it!! :)

When the conversations change...

My husband and I were talking today about what we would name our future son ( no, I am not pregnant) but we have these types of conversations a lot. And I love that we can and he is just as much into them as I am. Of course we can't for the life of us agree on a boy name. We have the girl name and have for a long time now, but if and when we have a boy, we are going to be in trouble! Every name I pick he doesn't like, and the very few he actually says I don't like. We could have a problem!

During our baby name conversation today, I stopped and took a minute and thought, WOW I am at that age where husbands, and babies and families and all that good stuff starts to happen, and it's weird to me. Since when do I have conversations with my husband, wait what husband...I have a husband? oh Ya I do, and now we are talking about babies? Where has the time gone? There are days when I feel I should still be in the 8th grade, not talking to my husband about babies! But I also realized today that I LOVE where I am in life. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful house, a job, amazing friends, and the list goes on!

I am at that place in life where becoming a mom is what I look forward to. I don't look forward to what party I am going to go to on Friday night, what boy I can flirt with, or waiting for that phone call from that special boy. Don't get me wrong, I had my moments of deciding which party to go to on a Friday night, flirting with guys, and I had MANY countless nights waiting for a boy to call. I'm also not saying that I don't like to go out and have a good time every now and then. I love getting dressed up and going on with my girlfriends for a girls night out (just not every night, or every weekend), I enjoy going on road trips and having a little spontaneity in life, and going to a house party with friends is always a good time in my book. It's just not what I look forward to all of the time anymore. Does this make me boring? crazy? If it does, so be it! I have things to look forward to, but I am also very content where I am. And it feels good!!

Life changes, and I enjoy the conversations that seem to change with age. I love each stage of life Nick and I go through. Bring on the baby conversations, they make me happy!!

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers day to all the wonderful mothers out there!!

I sure do wish I was spending the day with my Mama! I know she is in heaven smiling down on me and my siblings today, loving being our mom!! She was simply amazing and I cherish all the memories I have of her!!

Thank you Mama for continuing to play the most important role in my life. Your unconditional love carries on everyday and I feel so blessed to call you my mom!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for being such an incredible women! I can't wait to be a mom myself so I can love my babies the way you loved us!!

I love you forever and miss you so much!!

My Sweet Boy

I love this boy....he melts my heart and loves me unconditionally! What more could a dog mommy want?!? Nothing...he is such a blessing!

I love you my sweet Bear Mallaire!!

I have to admit, I LOVE shopping. Shopping and I have a love/hate relationship....well it's actually all about love, but the lack of money is the hate part! I find myself dreaming of cute clothes, and often find myself thinking about what if would be like to desing my own clothes! A little known...well actually it is probably unknown to most, but before I began my degree in Elementary Education, I wanted to go to FIDM (Fashion Institue of Design and Merchandise) in California. I wanted to design clothes for a living. I love the thought of designing clothes. I am just not creative. At all. I can't draw for the life of me and I have a really hard time expressing myself through drawings. I feel that I would be able to come up with ideas, but I would need somebody to do the actual designing. Needless to say, clothes designing went down the drain....but my love for clothes has not! Instead I am creative in the classroom with sweet children that no matter what my drawings look like, they love! So... Clothes Designer or Teacher?!?.....I think I picked the career for me....and who knows maybe I will teach, design and become a photographer all at once! Who says I can't?!? I am a dreamer, and oh boy do I dream of a career with teaching amazing children, capturing memerable moments, and who knows maybe design a few clothes...Life is a journey...who knows where it will take me...and I look forward to the ride!

Here are a few of my favorite places to shop:

Ann Taylor Loft: I LOVE everything about this store. It has the looks I love...Casual, Chic, Preppy and Dressy all put into one store....Did I mention that I LOVE this store...well I do!

Pros: Adorable Clothes

Cons: It's a little pricey.. but I seem to go when they have a great sale selection, so keep your eyes open :)

Target: Who does not LOVE Target?!? In my opinion that could not be possible :) I love that Target has introduced so many great new clothes designers which in turn means more options! I always seem to find something new and cute at Target (and not only can I find a cute new outfit, I can grocery shop at the same time... can't go wrong with that)

Pros: Convienant, Clean, Mult-purpose, and Fun!

Cons: NONE....okay maybe a few....I always seem to stand in line! They need to have more of those cute red shirt wearing chashiers available! (P.S....I really do think they are cute!), but that does not stop me from going! Things can also be a little pricey...again find the clearance isles....there is always something to be found!

TJ-Maxx and Marshalls: I love going to these stores. They have great designer clothes for half the price! I always seem to find something new when I go!

Pros: You can find great deals on super cute designer clothes!
Cons: These stores can be busy and you have to search for things...you have to be in the mood to search and shop, but it's so worth it if you find something!

My Sister's Closet: And no, it's not Britts Closet (my sister). It is one of my most favorite places to shop! My Sister's Closet is a recycled designer apparel store! This means that I can bring in my old clothes and get store credit or a check for my clothes! I love it. I ALWAYS find something cute!

Pros: great deals, awesome designer clothes, purses, jewlery, and shoes!
Cons: You have to search! You can't walk into this store quickly! You have to have at LEAST an hour to go through this store! but it is worth it! Some people don't have the patience to enjoy a store like this, but if you can manage, I promise you won't be dissapointed!

Well that is all!! Those are a few of my favorite stores!!

I hope you had a good Wednesday :)

My Sweet Girls.....

I have 3 Adorable Nieces.....I am one lucky Aunt :)

Myeloma 5k

( Nick, Me and My Sister)
(Brother and Sister-In-Law)

( Sister and Brother-In-Law)

(My sweet husband and I)
( My Dad and Nick)

This morning we did the annual Arizona Myeloma 5k walk/run. It was a great morning to spend time with my family as well as walk for a great cause. My mom died almost 4 years ago from Myeloma(a form of blood cancer) and it has been great to honor her life and the strength she had throughout everything she was given.

The Myeloma network is working hard to cure all cancers and these walks are not only for Myeloma but also all cancers. My biggest wish is to find a cure for Cancer...I have lost two really important people in my life to Cancer and many other great people as well.

I am glad we are able to get together as a family and celebrate my mom. I know she is smiling down on all of us, proud of who we have all become because of HER!! My mom was the most important person in my life and I cherish everything she has taught me and continues to teach me.

I am honored to call her my mom and thank God everyday for giving me such an incredible person to look up to. I can't wait until the day I become a mom and love a child the way she loved her children!!

In honor of my sweet Momma, Tamara Irene Hevner 9/7/54-9/26/06

We love and miss you so much!!!

Grandpa Don

Today marked the 4 year anniversary of my grandpa Don's death. There are people that are in your life that mean so much to you, and he was this to me! He was truly one of the most important person to me. He had the strength of a superhero, and the heart of an angel. He truly was a hero in so many people's lives. He was a fireman, an EMT, a father, husband, brother and grandpa just to name a few. My grandpa was a kind, gentle, loving man, and I think of him everyday. I still remember the night before he died, I got to talk to him on the phone. He was not speaking at the time, but I remember talking to him and I heard him make a noise.... I knew he heard me talking to him. I will never forget that moment. We lost him the next day, and I was devastated, along with everyone else in the family. My grandpa and I had a special connection, nothing different than what he had with all of the other grandchildren, you see that is what made him so special, he had a special connection with each and every one of his grandchildren. He made you feel so special.

Many people may not know, but he was considered my "step-grandpa". He married my grandma when my dad and his siblings were all grown adults. I love and will always consider my grandpa Hevner my grandpa as well (my dads real dad, who died when I was a baby), but my Grandpa Don was my grandpa also from day 1. Not only did my grandpa Don marry my grandma, he also got 3 step-children along with it. My grandma had two boys and a girl, and my grandpa Don had three daughters, both from their previous marriages. These two families eventually became one, and both my grandma and grandpa (Don) considered each others children as their own. What my point is, my Grandpa considered my dad just as much as his son as his own children. He never made us feel like we were only "step-grandchildren" considering he was there for most of our births. He never treated any of his grandchildren differently. He was just amazing. There are so many other words to describe my Grandpa, but amazing sums him up!

I am thinking of him today and the impact he had on so many people's lives. I feel that I did not get to grieve the loss of my grandpa because my mom died only 5 months later. I was still grieving him when I had to start grieving my moms death. I lost two of the most important people in my life in less than half a year....2006 will forever be the worst and hardest year of my life.

Today has been hard. I got to focus my sadness and loss of my grandpa and it hit me hard. I will never forget him and impact he had on my life. I love you Grandpa Don, thank you for being so special to me and always letting me know how loved I was.

Tomorrow my family and I will be doing a 5K in honor of my Mom and Grandpa. It is the Myeloma 5k ( the type of cancer my mom had) but it it also a walk to cure all cancers. My grandpa died of cancer also....I hate that C word!!!!!!!!

I will be walking and thinking of both my Mom and Grandpa tomorrow. They both have changed my life more than I think they ever knew!!!

Tomorrow is for them, and I will be walking proud knowing I had two of the most amazing people in my life!!!

The Simple Things In Life

As I was driving this morning, on my way to spend the morning with my Niece, Addison I stopped at Starbucks to get a coffee. As I was drinking my yummy Carmel Macchiato, I sucked up a glob of the carmel and realized how happy it made me...and my taste buds... is that weird? Well it made me start to think of all the little things that make me happy..the simple things! So I thought I would make a list of the simple, little things in life that bring a smile to my face :)

~ When Bear (my sweet dog) lays next to me in bed, and has to be right up against my back!

~ Waking up to a beautiful sunny day! (don't get me wrong, I love a rainy days too, but they make me want to stay in bed!)

~ Walking OUT of the gym....I love it because that means I am DONE!!!

~ I L.O.V.E that when I get up in the morning and get out of the shower, my husband always ends up on my pillow snuggled up on my side of the bed :)

~ The smell of fresh linen, fresh grass and vanilla.

~ Waking up early on a Sunday and read all of the ads in the newspaper!

~ A warm drink on a cold day!

~ People watch...not because I am weird, but because I like to think about what kind of life that person lives!

~ The feeling of sand between my toes (and that usually that means I am at the beach, so that makes me VERY happy)

~ The sound of the key opening the front door every night (because that means Nick is home!)

~ Fresh painted nails.... a nice maincure and pedicure can do wonders!

~ Spring time in Arizona....the beautiful weather, outdoor activities...everything!!!

~ Lovin on my sweet Nieces....I have 3 of them and love them more than anything!!!

~ The smell of Jergens Original scent lotion...it will forever make me think of my Momma!!

~ Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with original lays potato chips (not on the sandwich, but as a side) Yummy :)

~ Thinking of how I met my husband and the wonderful week we had together before he left for the Army ;)

~Getting free things....okay not that I am cheap, but I love when I get a free pen, or a goody bag of some sort...I just love things ( okay, this may be my weirdest confession ;)

~I love hearing a song on the radio that I havn't heard in a while!

~Watching my husband play video games...when he is playing a game that is really intense, he makes really cute facial features and moves his mouth in a really funny way....I just love it..it makes me smile :)

Well I am going to stop there....I may continue this on another post! I could be here forever thinking of all the things in my life that I love!

I am blessed to have such a loving husband, family and friends! I have to give all my thanks to God and the road that he is leading me on... I will forever be faithful to him and trust that he knows the plans he has for me!!

How cute is this??

Isn't this bike so cute? Feeling very selfish I have not bought it, but everytime I go to target I see this bike and it just screams at me to take it home!! But I havn't....yet! I have been thinking about this pink beauty a lot lately, because the weather has been so nice I have been thinking about how I wish I had a bike to go for a bike ride with! But again I am in no situation to spend over $100.00 on something when I am not working ( because of student teaching) so until the day I can call you mine, I will just continue to walk down the target isle dreaming of the wonderful bike rides I will have someday..... and even if I don't get it, I still love how cute and pink it is :)

Student Teaching

Sorry I have been MIA the past couple of months ( not that many people read this anyways) but I have been student teaching since January, and have been BUSY!! I love what I am doing so much, but it takes up every waking moment that I have!! My 2nd graders are amazing and have blessed my life in more ways than I will ever know!! I graduate in May!! Yay!!! It's about time!! May 14th will be a glorious day!! It will be here before I know it!! Nick is busy with work and school, and I am so proud of him! He works so hard for our little family and I am so grateful for that!! I am one lucky girl! Well thats about all the excitement here in the Mallaire family! Have a wonderful rest of the week!

My Valentine

I love Valentines Day, not because of all the yummy chocolates, or the pretty flowers, or the jewlery, but because it reminds of just meeting Nick in 2003. I was a senior in high school and he was a year older than me just enrolled in the Army. He came home on leave for Christmas 2003, and that is when we met. We spent two weeks together that I will never forget ( We have our own "Dear John" story!) He took me on wonderful dates, we laughed a lot and just got to know eachother. When it was time for Nick to go, I spent that morning with him, not wanting to say goodbye, and when I finally drove home, I felt empty. But how? I was fine two weeks ago before I met him? and now I wasn't? I went home and I remember crying to my mom about not getting to see him for 3 months ( little did I know that in 3 years he would be gone for 15 months in Afghanistan, 3 months was easy). About an hour after I got home, my doorbell rang, and guess who it was? Nick. Standing on my door step with a dozen flowers. He said he needed to see my one last time! I knew at that moment what we had was real!

After Nick left for Oklahoma, we talked only once a week, on Sundays. That was the only day he could talk during bookcamp. We would write letters back and forth to fill in the days when we wouldn't talk. Then Valentines day 2004 came and he sent me a dozen flowers everyday for a week. It was amazing. I never had so many flowers in my house at one time! I was so smitten by this man!!

Now here we are 7 years later, and I love Nick more and more everyday. We are married, happy and anxious for what the future has in store for us. I am so thankful for Nick, he came in my life at a moment I really needed him, and he has gotten me through my hardest times of my life. I am so blessed, and lucky to have such a sweet Valentine!!

Five Fun Friday Facts

So I have been at a lost for things to write about lately, so I thought I would do Five Fun Friday Facts....here goes!

1. I LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate covered pretzels!

2. My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married almost 1 year :)

3. One of my favorite things to do is read a good book, especially Nicholas Sparks books!

4. My husband wants to be a Dad more than anything, and that melts my heart!!

5. I want to live near the ocean for at least one year in my lifetime!

Well thats 5 Fun (or really random) things about me, that maybe you didn't know?!?

Happy Friday!!
I am looking forward to a great weekend with the love of my life, doing the lovey dovey things you do on Valentines day! xoxo

Hope for Haiti

My heart is aching for Haiti right now......I just watched the telethon and cried like a baby.....so heartbreaking.

The first story I saw on the telethon was when Anderson Cooper watched as a little girl was found under a callapsed bulding, and pulled out, alive!! Such a blessing! The sad part about her story is, she lost her entire family...all 10 of her family member died in the earthquake. My heart hurts for her and the lonliness she must feel in inside.

Then I watched as a 19 day old baby was bandaged up around his head and examined by a doctor....that broke the tear barrier... I could not control the tears after that!

I know that these devistating things are happening all of the world, but there is something about this tragic event that has struck a cord with me! My heart hurts for all of the suffering and tragedies all over the world!!!

I wish I could do something more!! I donated on the Hope for Haiti telethon, at http://www.hopeforhaitinow.org/

Go there, donate....have one less meal out, or don't buy that one pair of shoes or that new shirt, that to be honest you really don't need. Do something for Haiti......Don't think that you can't do anything to help or if you don't donate enough other people will....if everyone thought this way, nothing would get done!! It's not hard. It took me 2 minutes to make my donation.

I Pray for Pace and Comfort for the people of Haiti. At this point all I can do is Pray......