Struggling...

I always feel like I have so many blog topics I want to write about and usually plan to write daily, but then my day ends and I am so exhausted. By the time Luke goes to bed I am done!! I want my blog to reflect my life and for me to remember all of the wonderful things that happen in my life. I have a blessed and happy life, but things right now are a little tough.

I am still struggling being back at work and not home with Luke. I get better every day, but I still long to be home with him. I love teaching, but I find myself not enjoying it as much as I should because my heart is somewhere else. I give all of my energy into teaching, and all of my energy into being a mom. I am T.I.R.E.D.

I miss my husband. He changed his work schedule to stay home with Luke during the day and then he goes to work at night. It is such a blessing, but he is so tired. I feel like we are more like roomates than husband and wife. He is tired, I am tired. Things are just hard right now. We NEED a date night asap! Any takers?!? (just kidding....kinda)

I miss breastfeeding Luke. I am struggling with this one REALLY bad. I long for the time spent with him doing something only I could do! I miss it and I can't get it back and I am so sad. Being a teacher is great, but the schedule is demanding and I only have one break a day. One break a day=milk supply gone. I still get so emotional about this. I almost can't get past the fact that I am done. I know this is not the end of the world, but it doesn't make it easier to go to work everyday knowing that my job has stopped me from breastfeeding. ( I tried everything to keep my supply up, it just wasn't working anymore) I know that it will get easier and I will probably laugh about how emotional I am about this, but again I am tired, and tired Breanna=extra emotional.

I didn't want this post to come off that I am not grateful for my life because God knows I am! So blessed! Luke is the most amazing gift I could have ever recieved and Nick is such a great partner to be going through this crazy life with.

I do feel that it is okay to feel a little beat up from time to time. I know that this is just a season of our life and pretty soon I will look back and be thankful for these harder times and appreciate them even more than I do today.

Thanks for listening to my gibber jabber. Sometimes it is just nice to get it off your chest.

Happy Tuesday! Only 2 more days of school this week!! Yay for 4 day weekends!

~Breanna

First Tooth!

Luke,

Your first tooth came in today! (8-22-11) You are such a big boy!

Mama's attempt to getting a tooth picture...didn't work out so well. All I had was my iphone and you just wanted to eat my hand :) I love this picture though, it makes me laugh!You have found your toes!! You bring them to your mouth and try to suck on them...cute/gross!You love sucking on cold wash cloths. It must feel good to those little gummies!I love when you suck on your fingers. You make loud sucking noises. Adorable!!

Here is a little photo booth app from my phone. You were sucking on my hand. I love you!

Oh how you are growing my sweet baby. I love you more than you know!

~Mama

luke, You are 5 months old!

I am 4 days late on this post, but better late than never right?

Luke,

You are 5 months old today (8/17/11)! I can't believe how much you are growing and changing!

Here is what you are up to:

~I am guessing you weigh about 18ish pounds! You weighed 17.3 pounds last month so I am just guessing you are in the 18 pound range now!

~ You are so tall!! I think I wrote in your last post that the doctor thinks you are going to be so tall! I don't doubt it. Everything I buy you that is supposed to be pants on you come up to your calf! It makes me laugh. I call them your capris. Dad doesn't like that term :)

~You are rolling like a mad man! I set you down and off you go! still only towards the left side, but you got it down my love!

~You started on rice cereal at 4 months and you weren't too sure about it at first, but then you started to really like it. I just switched you to oatmeal and you LOVE it!! You look so big in your high chair!

~You are such a happy baby! You really only cry when you are hungry, tired or don't feel well!

~You are teething like crazy! You drool all day long, your hands are in your mouth constantly and you love chewing on wet wash cloths. I keep hearing about this Sophie the Giraffe toy to get you for teething, so I may need to invest in that! You poor thing have been teething for months now! But no teeth yet!

~You are starting to sit up a little bit and it only lasts a few seconds before you fall forward or to the sides. You are so strong though! You will sit up soon and in your own time!

~You are still spending your days with Daddy and then with Auntie Britt and Stella! I am so blessed that you are taken such good care of while I am at work! Daddy adores the time with you and you love going over to Britt and Stella's twice a week!

~You still are not a very good napper! You sleep for only about 30min-45 min every 2 hours or so! You are our little cat napper!

~You are sleeping pretty well at night! You go to bed between 8 and 8:30 and then sleep until about 2. I usually feed you then and you go right back to sleep! but then you are up again at about 4:45 and then fall back asleep until 8am ish!

~You "talk" so much! I Love hearing your sweet little babbles!

~Your eyes are getting darker and darker and your hair is coming in a little lighter!

~You are an official tummy sleeper. You sleep your best on your tummy and we have come to terms that you are just fine sleeping that way!

~ Sadly, breast feeding you is coming to an end. Mommy only gets one break a day at school and that is not enough to keep my suppy going for you. I am very sad about this and have cried many tears over it, but you are healthy and happy and being on formula is not that the worse thing in the world. I will just miss the bonding time with you that only you and I shared...ahh tears are flowing as I am writing this! 5 months was a good run, and am glad I could do it for that long!

~You love to grab faces when people are holding you! It is so cute! It is like you are trying to get as close as you can and take everything in!

Well sweet pea, It has been such an amazing 5 months with you. Daddy and I can't imagine life without you, and feel so blessed by you. I can't even begin to explain the love I have for you. Thank you for being such a sweet boy. I adore you!

Love,

Mama

Where do the weekends go?

I feel myself repeating this every time I haven't blogged in a while, but I promise I will do better! I started back at work a couple weeks ago, so blogging has taken the back burner! I am going to do my best to write a couple of posts a week!

Today is Sunday, and the weekend has flown by! They always do! I will hopefully be back this afternoon to continue on my "Girlfrinds" post and of course post a few pics of my sweet boy!

Enjoy your Sunday!!