Struggling...

I always feel like I have so many blog topics I want to write about and usually plan to write daily, but then my day ends and I am so exhausted. By the time Luke goes to bed I am done!! I want my blog to reflect my life and for me to remember all of the wonderful things that happen in my life. I have a blessed and happy life, but things right now are a little tough.

I am still struggling being back at work and not home with Luke. I get better every day, but I still long to be home with him. I love teaching, but I find myself not enjoying it as much as I should because my heart is somewhere else. I give all of my energy into teaching, and all of my energy into being a mom. I am T.I.R.E.D.

I miss my husband. He changed his work schedule to stay home with Luke during the day and then he goes to work at night. It is such a blessing, but he is so tired. I feel like we are more like roomates than husband and wife. He is tired, I am tired. Things are just hard right now. We NEED a date night asap! Any takers?!? (just kidding....kinda)

I miss breastfeeding Luke. I am struggling with this one REALLY bad. I long for the time spent with him doing something only I could do! I miss it and I can't get it back and I am so sad. Being a teacher is great, but the schedule is demanding and I only have one break a day. One break a day=milk supply gone. I still get so emotional about this. I almost can't get past the fact that I am done. I know this is not the end of the world, but it doesn't make it easier to go to work everyday knowing that my job has stopped me from breastfeeding. ( I tried everything to keep my supply up, it just wasn't working anymore) I know that it will get easier and I will probably laugh about how emotional I am about this, but again I am tired, and tired Breanna=extra emotional.

I didn't want this post to come off that I am not grateful for my life because God knows I am! So blessed! Luke is the most amazing gift I could have ever recieved and Nick is such a great partner to be going through this crazy life with.

I do feel that it is okay to feel a little beat up from time to time. I know that this is just a season of our life and pretty soon I will look back and be thankful for these harder times and appreciate them even more than I do today.

Thanks for listening to my gibber jabber. Sometimes it is just nice to get it off your chest.

Happy Tuesday! Only 2 more days of school this week!! Yay for 4 day weekends!

~Breanna